The lacerating effects of criticism

Sometimes those who live near you take on the role of “heaven’s sandpaper”. They are the experts at finding bugs and errors no matter how small. They focus all their attention on them.

The result of such a harmful attitude is anything but helpful, and does not improve the person. Rather, hurtful words lacerate and hurt, affect self-esteem, and emotionally drain us.

We are all accountable to God for the way we use words. Especially those that hurt others. The excess of critical words does not come from the heart of the wise, nor does it reflect what is in the heart of God.

“In the many words sin is not lacking; but he that restrains his lips is wise.” (Proverbs 10:19)

“What is criticism?”

At the tennis championships in Wimbledon, England, the match judge sits in a raised chair next to the net between the competitors. The referee has earned the right to be a judge. He invites you because he has good

reputation for being accurate and fair. When a player takes a serve and the ball goes off the line, the judge yells: “Foul!” This kind of wake-up call is appropriate and appreciated.

However, the one who judges and criticizes others has not earned a reputation for being accurate or fair. He is a critic who sits in a chair raised above the others, uninvited, and keeps shouting: “Miss… miss… miss!” Those wake-up calls are neither appropriate nor appreciated.

The Bible has much to say to those who possess the spirit of criticism, those who sit in the judge’s chair looking down on others.

“But you, why do you judge your brother? Or you too, why do you look down on your brother? Because we will all appear before the judgment seat of Christ.” (Romans 14:10)

smoke screens

The following list will help you understand the critical person.

Also, you can use it as a personal test to see if there are any such smokescreens in his own life. Ever…

  • secretly think you are better than others?
  • have ideas about others without knowing the whole truth?
  • seek revenge for an offense received?
  • joke with the intention of hurting someone?
  • envy the success of others?
  • blame others for something you did?
  • conceal your own discontent?
  • is rebellious against authority?
  • use sarcasm to make fun of others?
  • elevate yourself and put others down?
  • feed your perfectionistic tendencies to appear better than others?

childhood injuries

The nursery rhyme that says, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!” is very far from reality. Criticism can be more damaging than a natural catastrophe. The destruction may not be visible, but the damage done to a child’s spirit has devastating consequences. Many children who grow up receiving messages that hurt their self-esteem resort to criticism as a defense mechanism. The negative messages that people hear over and over again make them feel hurt and in turn, hurt others!

Harshness says— “You are not worthy of my consideration.”

Lack of interest says— “You have no value.”

Rejection says— “You are not accepted.”

The taunt says— “You are despicable and deserve the abuse.”

key verse to memorize

“Let your word always be graceful, seasoned with salt, so that you know how you should respond to each one”. (Colossians 4:6)

Key passage to read and meditate

James 3:1,12

How to react to criticism from others

  • Be assured that you can accept others in the same way that Christ accepts you. (Romans 15:7)
  • Be open-minded to accept even the slightest truth when criticized. (Proverbs 17:10)
  • Accept criticism without becoming defensive. (Proverbs 15:12)
  • Determine to speak well of your critic. (Romans 12:14)
  • Commit to praying for your critic. (Matthew 5:44)
  • Remember that as a follower of Christ, you will be criticized. (Matthew 5:11)
  • Take heart knowing that you will be disciplined by God because you are his child. (Hebrews 12:5,6)
  • Depend on the Lord’s perspective to determine your value and esteem, not the opinion of others. (Galatians 1:10)
  • Discern if the criticism made by others is true. (Proverbs 16:21)

“Do not be defeated by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21)

Open your heart to be a cheerleader

  • An animator has a humble heart, a heart that recognizes its own weaknesses. (Psalms 139:23,24)
  • An entertainer has a compassionate heart, a heart that takes an active interest in the lives of others. (Colossians 3:12)
  • An entertainer has a heart full of acceptance, a heart that offers a sense of security. (Romans 15:7)
  • An entertainer has a sensitive heart, a heart that does not hurt with words. (Ephesians 4:29)
  • An animator has a wise heart, a heart that trusts the Spirit to tell the truth. (1 Corinthians 2:13)

“Let no corrupt word come out of your mouth, but what is good for the necessary edification, in order to give grace to the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29)