CHILDREN LEARN THEM AT HOME | THE EXAMPLE OF ADULTS IS FUNDAMENTAL.

As it is said “good manners begin at home”, and there is no doubt about that, but sometimes from educated parents, spoiled children come out and of course no mom or dad likes their child to be seen that way. The question is how to get our children to have good manners, but what is meant by good manners and good behavior when it comes to a child? Will it be knowing which fork to use when food is served? o Be quiet and still?

Good behavior definitely goes beyond that, and it has to do with respect for others, which begins with simple acts such as knowing how to greet, knowing how to listen when they speak to us and responding politely. Good manners are more linked to consideration for the feelings of others, rather than the correct way of sitting or eating, although they are also an important part of knowing how to behave.

“Good behavior is good human relations – getting along with everyone,” says Letitia Baldrige in her book More Than Manners. Ella Baldrige points out that we should use manners as a tool to teach our children to treat all people with respect. And the children of all both in respect for others and in good manners.

Therefore, all members of the household should greet everyone in a friendly and respectful manner, beginning with the person who does the cleaning at home, the cashier at the supermarket, the neighbor, etc. These daily acts are essential for them to learn good example. His child is a reflection of him, therefore he will also treat everyone with whom he has contact with respect.

UNDER THREE YEARS OLD

Experts on the subject say that children at this age tend to be boisterous, weepy and mobile, therefore parents should take into account that this behavior goes with age and should not be misconstrued as spoiled. It is simply part of normal child development.

His expectations must be realistic: The child at this age is characterized by having a short time of concentration and attention, therefore he could not follow a very long instruction. But, if they are able to use magic and simple words like “please” and “thank you”.

It is advised to create patterns of good behavior and remember that your child is too young to be reprimanded for misbehaving, he does not understand the reasons and implications behind good behavior. But with a certain routine you should see and hear warm and friendly phrases and actions.

For example: when passing a glass of soda, you can say “Now say thank you.” Although the little one does not repeat immediately, he will see the pattern and with time it will become a routine. When he shows that he is acquiring good manners, pays attention and interest and makes a comment about it (very good, you are very polite), then he is reinforcing his sharing.

LITTLE THREE AND FOUR YEAR OLDS

Between the ages of three and four, a child is already able to understand the reasons behind good behavior. If you take your time and use a little creativity, he will be able to see short-term results.

Role-play is a group dynamic that allows learning in a simpler way and that consists of assigning roles to the people who participate in this game and pretending to be in some situation. This dynamic is used in many preschools, since children between the ages of three and four have a hard time sharing, and are mainly aware of their own needs and not those of others. Then through role-play you can help the child see how actors with his son.

Example: If you are on your way to a birthday, and you would like your child to use good manners in a certain situation, you can do the following: “Let’s say I am Anita’s mom, and I am giving you the birthday bag, and you you say thank you”. By playing this game you are preparing your child in advance to behave as you would like them to behave when these situations arise.

SCHOOL AGE

Children at school are already more independent and do not need their parents constantly by their side. Therefore, you must ensure that they have the necessary social skills to be able to maintain good relationships with their peers and teachers.

What can we expect from them: Your child at school age already has the ability to have basic table manners, greet adults in simple conversations, receive and give a compliment, introduce family or friends, and respect the feelings of others .

Giving cues: If you forgot to say thank you, just walk over and say quietly, “what do you say?” This will give you a chance to say or do the right thing, but remember not to be clumsy or harsh when doing so. Next time, he’s more likely to remember to thank you, if you haven’t humiliated him in front of other people by his carelessness.

Prepare your child: It is good to prepare your child for certain situations that are about to happen. For example, if they are going to have visitors at home, remind them not to start eating until everyone has been served, teach them to greet politely, even more so if they are older people. You must be specific in what she wants, it is not enough to say “I hope you behave”.

Better late than never: If you haven’t reinforced good manners by now, you’ll need to be consistent and direct. But be careful, as school-age children tend to be easily embarrassed when criticized.

SOME GUIDELINES

In the article “Children with good manners from home” in La Vanguardia.com, certain guidelines and ways to teach good manners to children on a daily basis are provided. Here are these and other suggestions from experts on the subject

Greet all the people around you with a cordial, kind and affectionate attitude. Remember that if you frequently use: good morning, thank you, please and with permission; your child will easily learn them. Greet your neighbors, friends and colleagues and use friendly phrases.

  • Answer the phone appropriately.
  • Teach him not to raise his voice.
  • Teach him that he must respect adults.
  • Good manners are not only about greeting and thanking, but also correct and good behavior at the table. Children must learn to sit correctly, hold cutlery properly, eat with their mouths closed, and be aware of good hygiene habits.
  • Be patient and tolerant when the child makes a mistake.
  • Correct your child in private, never embarrass him in front of others.
  • Don’t force actions on him when he’s upset, such as forcing him to apologize.

If despite good treatment and instilling good manners, your child behaves in an unacceptable way, seek professional help