A prayer in the midst of loneliness

After collecting the ribbons and crumpled Christmas wrapping paper, the young mother took the garbage out to the back alley. That Christmas morning was going on as usual, when she was interrupted by the cries of her three young children saying, “Hurry up mom, we have to be at dad’s by ten o’clock!”

When they heard the horn of the car, the three of them ran out and the scene of the gifts was repeated once more, this time with their father, his new wife and his two children. They would stay with him all day and then go on vacation. Alone in the house and with an emptiness in her heart, she felt desolate. She sat in front of the fire and let her tears run freely.

Overwhelmed by a feeling of profound loneliness, she cried out to God:

“Hear my prayer, O Lord, and listen to my cry. Don’t be silent before my tears.” (Psalms 39:12)

“Why does God seem so far away when I feel lonely?”

It is normal to experience a deep loneliness when experiencing a loss or a change in her lifestyle. However, if we fall into self-pity and get angry at God for the circumstances, we begin to feel far away from him and cannot receive loving comfort from him.

“Look at me, and have mercy on me, because I am lonely and afflicted.” (Psalms 25:16)

“So let us always offer to God, through him, a sacrifice of praise, that is, the fruit of lips that confess his name.” (Hebrews 13:5)

“When are we most likely to experience loneliness?”

Loneliness often occurs when we are facing a big change in our lives. We do not want to lose the support and comfort of our loved ones or the security of the known.

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from my salvation, and from the words of my cry?” (Psalms 22:1)

The meaning of “solitude”

  • In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word for “alone” is badad, which means “to be with oneself.”
  • In the New Testament, the Greek word monos denotes “unaccompanied, alone, lonely.”
  • Being alone is the condition of being without company, separated from others.
  • Jesus often sought to be alone. He separated himself from others in order to have fellowship with the Father.

“After the crowd was dismissed, he went up the mountain to pray apart; and when he night came, he was there alone”. (Matthew 14:23)

The difference between being alone and feeling lonely

  • Loneliness refers to the emotional state… the state of feeling rejected and lonely.
  • Being alone refers to the physical state… the state of being separated from others.
  • Loneliness is usually a negative experience that is accompanied by a feeling of hopelessness.
  • Being alone can be a positive experience, a time of creativity and fellowship with the Lord.

Changes that cause loneliness

Circumstances due to singleness, divorce, death of a loved one, empty nest, unemployment.

Special events such as unfulfilled expectations, not being in the company of family and friends, loss of spouse.

Melancholy due to physical handicap, incurable or chronic disease, old age.

Search for other alternatives: fear of intimacy, escape from reality through work.

Inexperience. Being exposed to the consequences of what other people did.

Ostracism. Avoid closeness, feel rejected or reject others, lack of daily routine.

Key verses to memorize

“Where will I go from your Spirit? And where will I flee from your presence? If I go up to heaven, there you are; and if I make my footstool in Sheol, behold, there you are.” (Psalms 139:7,8)

Key passage to read and meditate

Psalms 63:1,8
Become a bridge builder

Get rid of the bitterness. (Hebrews 12:15)

Understand the pain of others. (2 Timothy 1:3,4)

Start a plan to visit others. (Luke 14:12,14)

Find ways to express your love to others. (John 15:13)

Do not demand that others change. (Psalms 62:5)

Start attending a Bible study group. (Hebrews 10:25)

Read about Christians who are or have been good examples. (1 Thessalonians 1:6,7)

Get inspired by listening to good music. (Psalms 57:7)

Decide to diversify your activities and goals. (Psalms 33:3)

Read the word of God. (Psalms 107:19,20)

Expect God to do new things. (Isaiah 43:18,19)

Surrender to the Savior. (Psalms 62:5)

questions about loneliness

Question: “My life is full of activities. Why do I feel lonely sometimes?

Answer: Activity is not a cure for loneliness. By engaging in various activities, you may be trying to ignore the desire in your heart to seek God. (Psalm 62:5,6)

Question: “My spouse is gone. What dates will be the most difficult to bear?

Answer: The most difficult emotional times will be holidays, birthdays and anniversaries. Set aside a time to cry. Grieving the death of a loved one is a healthy and natural part of life. (Ecclesiastes 3:4) Question: “How can I get through the toughest times like the holidays?”

Answer: Make plans to be with other people on special days that bring back memories. (Ecclesiastes 4:9,10)